Spending time with Phil

I’m back in London after dropping Chris off in Bournemouth, where he’ll stay until I’m well enough to look after him. He was trying his hardest to be brave about it all. But his facade cracked at times: “I don’t want this to happen. I don’t want to be away from you. I don’t like you being hurt.” As I drove back, he called me to say he was worried he didn’t have enough money to buy Phil and me ‘get well’ presents.

Phil on the other hand is chipper and rather pleased he has Anne and me all to himself – a rare treat for twins. He has been setting up our new Wii in the patient accommodation and is itching to play (aka thrash) me at Mario Kart. As he is off dialysis, his diet is highly restricted this weekend. He has started an advance course of immunosuppressants, and they are playing havoc with his digestive system. But the upside of having his catheter removed is that he could at long last enjoy a bath last night – his first in many months – and is today happily smelling of sweet lavender oil!

We have to be at the hospital first thing tomorrow for the start of preparations for his transplant the following day. Doubtless we will have to fight a few battles with the consultants to ensure our wishes about not forcing him to take unnecessary and psychosis-inducing sedatives are adhered to. We will probably also need to forcefully remind tomorrow’s new consultant about what has been agreed regarding Anne and the recovery room. As if we didn’t already have enough to deal with..!

I’m not going to worry about that yet, though. For now I’m going to concentrate on giving Phil all the love and attention he needs and deserves. And take a good thumping at Mario Kart..

3 thoughts on “Spending time with Phil

  1. Dear ‘Dad’. Tomorrow, as you are 1 hour into theatre groups of people are meeting in twos and threes to think of you. We do not speak much. Those of us with religious traditions go into prayer, and others simply focus the best way they know. We are of 8 different nationalities. All of us spend much time in this way and many of us work with hospitals and university institutions.

    Essentially, what we do is wish you well. Specifically, we wish: – that all surgical and recovery procedures have the best possible outcome and fast and easy recoveries. – that Phil’s new kidney is good for 70+ years – that you and Phil have long, healthy and happy lives and the natural cause of your eventual demise is not kidney related – that all members of your family and all family relations fully recover and are strengthened and enhanced by this experience.

    Ideally, we would have your names to do this work. And ideally we would have your permission. But we will do what we can without it – on the basis that it does no harm and usually much good.

    I would be grateful if you could indicate in your public blog that you accept well-intentioned good wishes for you and your family. Acceptance is important to us for ethical reasons and our intent is to assist and not to intrude, and we strictly respect the boundaries set by patients.

    Thank you.

    Clara in Edinburgh (Claire Milne 07923 848938)

  2. Dear all,

    Just wanted to wish you all positive thoughts over the next couple of difficult days – best wishes for speedy recoveries and some peace of mind – we will be thinking of you all.
    take care
    the Westcottsxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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